Scorekeeper Introductions

Listing of all of the introductions that Bill Kurtis and other scorekeepers have used when introducing themselves at the start of each show.

Scorekeepers

Bill Kurtis

Show Date Best Of Repeat Introduction
2012-08-18 False False Legendary Anchorman
2012-09-08 False False Legendary Anchorman
2012-09-15 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-03-02 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-03-09 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-03-23 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-05-11 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-05-18 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-05-25 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-06-01 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-06-08 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-06-15 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-06-22 False False Legendary Anchorman
2013-06-29 False False Legendary Anchorman
2014-05-24 False False Legendary Anchorman
2014-05-31 False False Legendary Anchorman
2014-06-07 False False Beloved Anchorman
2014-06-14 False False Cuddly Fun Anchorman
2014-06-21 False False Inscrutable Anchorman
2014-06-28 False False Voluptuous Anchorman
2014-07-05 True False Surprisingly Telegenic Anchorman
2014-07-12 False False Awe-Inspiring Anchorman
2014-07-19 False False Tender Loving Anchorman
2014-07-26 False False Carnivorous Anchorman
2014-08-02 False False Totally Huggable Anchorman
2014-08-30 False False Entrancing Anchorman
2014-09-06 False False Smoking Hot
2014-09-13 False False Well-Behaved Anchorman
2014-09-20 False False Fragrant Anchorman
2014-10-04 False False Legendary Anchorman
2014-10-11 True False Vertebrate Anchorman
2014-10-18 False False Simply Gorgeous Anchorman
2014-10-25 False False Heaven-Sent Anchorman
2014-11-01 False False Strange, Enticing, Wierd and Normal Anchorman
2014-11-08 False False Legendary Anchorman
2014-11-15 False False Aerialist and Contortionist Anchorman
2014-11-22 False False Angelic Anchorman
2014-11-29 True False Filled with Cranberry Sauce
2014-12-06 False False Earth's last living centaur
2014-12-13 False False Half-anchor, half-man
2014-12-20 False False All about that bass, about that bass...
2014-12-27 True False Height-weight proportionate
2015-01-03 True False Humbly incredible anchorman
2015-01-10 False False Ruggedly handsome
2015-01-17 False False Legendary Anchorman
2015-01-24 False False Kid-tested, mother approved
2015-01-31 False False A little teapot, short and stout
2015-02-07 False False The ocean's most deadly predator
2015-02-14 False False Adorable Mouseketeer
2015-02-21 True False Manic, pixie, dream girl
2015-02-28 False False Just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her
2015-03-07 False False Anchorman, anchor-myth, anchor-legend
2015-03-14 False False Who Dat?
2015-03-21 False False All beef anchorman
2015-03-28 False False Your mom's favorite anchorman
2015-04-04 False False Legendary Anchorman
2015-04-11 True True Vertebrate Anchorman
2015-04-18 False False Legendary Anchorman
2015-04-25 False False I'm not an anchorman, I'm an anchor man
2015-05-02 False False By the power of Grayskull, I am He-Anchorman
2015-05-09 False False I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a mighty, mighty anchorman
2015-05-16 False False I'm the only Bill to get unanimous support in both Houses of Congress
2015-05-23 False False I'm the man now dog
2015-05-30 True False Chinese Communist Sleeper Agent
2015-06-06 False False I'm not just man-spreading, I'm Annchorman-spreading
2015-06-13 False False I'm the man American Pharoah rides when he wants to go fast
2015-06-20 False False Anchormen want to be me, Anchorwomen want to be with me
2015-06-27 False False I'm America's only 10 gallon achorman
2015-07-04 True False Legendary Anchorman
2015-07-11 False False Motown Philly, meet Motown Billy
2015-07-18 True False Legendary Anchorman
2015-07-25 False False I'm the man people call 'The Bill of Right'
2015-08-01 False False A healthy part of a complete breakfast
2015-08-08 False False I'm the man so hot President Obama wants to cap and trade me
2015-08-15 False False Forget the kid, I'm Billy the Man
2015-08-22 True False I'm Perennial Time Man of the Year, First Runner Up
2015-08-29 True False I'm American ninja warrior
2015-09-05 False False I'm the anchorman so good they wouldn't let me retire
2015-09-12 False False Anchor - I hardly know her
2015-09-19 False False I'm the only man to make Janet Yellen raise her interest rate
2015-09-26 False False I'm the man whose tail pipe emissions are always exactly as promised
2015-10-03 False False You've heard about Hillary's secret e-mails, I'm Hillary's secret male
2015-10-10 False False You be illin', I be Billin'
2015-10-17 True False I'm the fire in your fireplace
2015-10-24 False False I'm the man who takes depressed Cubs fans out to the Bill game
2015-10-31 False False Hey there Des Moines, I'm da man
2015-11-07 False False I'm the man who gave James Bond his license
2015-11-14 False False I'm the perfect man if you want to Netflix and Bill
2015-11-21 False False I'm the man who will stuff your Thanksgiving turkey
2015-11-28 True False I'm the turkey stuffed with chicken stuffed with... Anchorman
2015-12-05 False False Crack open a cold one, it's Biller Time!
2015-12-12 False False Who needs jingle bells? You've got jingle Bill
2015-12-19 False False Hey Han Solo, climb in me. I'm the Billennium Falcon
2015-12-26 True False Merry Kurtismas
2016-01-02 True False I'm an anchorman, baby
2016-01-09 False False Why play the Powerball when you can play the Power Bill?
2016-01-16 False False Check the mail, you just got your electric Bill
2016-01-23 False False Hey east coast, avoid that winter chill and get some of this winter Bill
2016-01-30 False False I hope you like jazz because I'm about to take you on a Bill-y Holiday
2016-02-06 False False Hey football fans turn off the game, let me be your Super Bill
2016-02-13 False False Come join my secret society, the Billuminati
2016-02-20 True False I'm the anchor real men tattoo on their chest
2016-02-27 False False Hey Gladys Knight, forget about Georgia. Take the midnight train to Bill
2016-03-05 False False Someone's knocking at the door. Someone's ringing the bill
2016-03-12 False False Hey ladies, get your tickets to the Billith Fair
2016-03-19 False False Forget about March Madness, let's play basket-Bill
2016-03-26 False False This is not a drill; it's a Bill
2016-04-02 False False If you mess with the bull, you get the horns. So why not mess with the Bill?
2016-04-09 False False You quiero taco Bill
2016-04-16 False False Hey Milwaukee, I'm taking you on a trip to Billwaukee
2016-04-23 True False I am the anchor that keeps out great ship of state from floating away
2016-04-30 False False I'm the Fresh Prince of Bill-Air
2016-05-07 False False I'm the Mother's Day present your mom really wants
2016-05-14 False False Billy Jean is not your lover, but Billy Kurtis is
2016-05-21 False False I'm the newest member of The Avengers: Anchorman
2016-05-28 False False You're kind of cute, but I'm adora-Bill
2016-06-04 True False Don't just chillax, Billax with me
2016-06-11 False False Hey baby, you hungry? Let me be your umBillical cord
2016-06-18 False False Who needs the London Philharmonic? You've got the Billharmonic
2016-06-25 False False Hey there, daddy. I'm your Billegitimate child
2016-07-02 False False Hey Peter, what did the duck say to the waiter? Put it on my bill
2016-07-09 True False I'm the anchor that only the coolest sailors have tattoed on their chests
2016-07-16 False False Hey baby, I'll start your heart. I'm your defib-Bill-ator
2016-07-23 False False I go all day long, dady. I'm your Billibuster
2016-07-30 False False If you're looking for a TV revival, let me be your Billmore Girls
2016-08-06 False False I'm the only man with a gold medal in anchormanning
2016-08-13 False False I'm flexi-Bill
2016-08-20 True False If your gas tank's empty, it's time to Bill 'er up
2016-08-27 True False Forget Generation X, I'm a Billennial
2016-09-03 False False I'm the only man Tom Brady allows to tamper with his balls
2016-09-10 False False Hey there, Fergie, get a load of Bill-I-Am
2016-09-17 False False I'm America's next top model
2016-09-24 False False Love lift us up where we Bill-ong
2016-10-01 False False Why run with the bulls when you can run with the Bill
2016-10-08 False False Hey there, Neo. Do you want to take the red Bill or the blue Bill?
2016-10-15 True False Hey there, Cat Stevens. I've got tea for the Biller Band.
2016-10-22 False False It's all right, because you're saved by the Bill
2016-10-29 False False Hey Chicago, forget about the Billy Goat. I'm goaty Bill
2016-11-05 False False You're about to be arrested for Billicit activities
2016-11-12 False False America, I know change is hard, but don't curl up into a ball, curl up with a Bill
2016-11-19 False False I'm the Bill that never gets vetoed
2016-11-26 True False Legendary Anchorman
2016-12-03 False False Don't worry about the Constitution, I'll be your Bill of Rights
2016-12-10 False False Pick up the phone, it's a Bill Kurtis-y call
2016-12-17 False False Hey, Nutcracker, let me be your Billerina
2016-12-24 False False Jingle Bills, jingle Bills, jingle I'm
2016-12-31 True False I'm the anchor in the relay team that passes the baton of truth
2017-01-07 True False Forget the yoga, try some Bill-lates
2017-01-14 False False I can tell your future, I'm your Crystal Bill
2017-01-21 False False Hey Donald Trump, put your hand on me. I'm your holy Bi-Bill
2017-01-28 False False A wall can't stop me, I'm a Bill-legal immigrant
2017-02-04 False False Hey Steve Bannon, let me be your Triumph of the Bill
2017-02-18 False False Hey folks, don't get up in my grill, get up in my Bill
2017-02-25 True True I'm the anchor real men tattoo onto their chests
2017-03-04 False False Hey there, Jonathan Safran Foer, everything is Billuminated
2017-03-11 False False I'm the Bill no one wants to repeal and replace
2017-03-18 False False We're cutting your budget by a Bill-ion
2017-03-25 False False I'm no doctor, but I'll be your healthcare Bill
2017-04-01 False False Hey 007, I've got a license to Bill. Kurtis, is the name
2017-04-08 False False You've found your thrill on Blueberry Bill
2017-04-15 True False I'm the anchor who guarantees a gold medal
2017-04-22 False False Don't eat at IKEA, try my Swedish meat-Bills
2017-04-29 False False I hope you're not feeling ill, but I do hope you're feeling Bill
2017-05-06 False False Looking for a fun vacation? Take a trip to the Billapagos Islands
2017-05-13 False False U-tah, me-Bill
2017-05-20 False False I'm not Kendrick Lamar, but sit down, be hum-Bill
2017-05-27 False False It's time for the rose ceremony, and I'm your Bill-achelor
2017-06-03 True False I'm the Bill people hope is waiting in the mailbox
2017-06-10 False False Legendary Anchorman
2017-06-17 False False Good news. For Father's Day, you get an edi-Bill arrangement
2017-06-24 False False I'm the bill Mitch McConnell wants to work in secret
2017-07-01 False False Get a look at my crack, I'm the Liberty Bill
2017-07-08 True False I'm the man beyond your puny power to comprehend. That's right, I'm inconvceiva-Bill
2017-07-15 False False Hey Don Jr., don't collude with Russians. Bill-lude with me!
2017-07-22 False False Hey O.J., now that you're free, come find the real Biller
2017-07-29 False False Hey, there. No matter who you are, you're welcome to serve in the Bill-itary
2017-08-05 False False Hey, Guy Raz, watch how I Bill This
2017-08-12 False False Hey, before the apocalypse starts, let me be your last Bill and testament
2017-08-19 True False I'm a man so pure and honest, they named that quality after me, I'm incorrupti-Bill
2017-08-26 False True I can tell your future, I'm your Crystal Bill
2017-09-02 False False Hey, Maria von Trapp, climb my mountain. And the Bills are alive with the sound of music
2017-09-09 False False Hey, Kim Jong Un, why don't you try and launch me? I'm a Billistic missile
2017-09-16 False False Hey there, Debra Messing, how about a return of "Bill & Grace"
2017-09-23 False False You don't have to speak Tagalog to visit the Bill-ippines
2017-09-30 False False Hey there, ancient Mesopotamians, get ready for the epic of Bill-gamesh
2017-10-07 False False That's right, I'm gazing at Uranus. I'm the Hub-Bill telescope
2017-10-14 True False I'm the breed that seems vicious, but I'm a sweetheart when you get to know me. I'm your pit Bill
2017-10-21 False False Look out Tokyo, here comes God-Billa!
2017-10-28 False False Hey Paul Ryan, no need to debate, I'll be your tax reform Bill
2017-11-04 False False I hope you're hungry, you're about to get a big plate of spaghetti Bill-ignese
2017-11-11 False False I'll take care of that odor, I'm your Bill Kurtis-y flush
2017-11-18 False False Put on your tutu, you're going to the Bill-et
2017-11-25 True False Don't worry folks, I know it looks bad, but it's treata-Bill
2017-12-02 False False Hey Seattle, you be my Donald, I'll be your Bill-ania
2017-12-09 False False Kur-'tis the season
2017-12-16 False False Hark, hear the Bills, sweet silver Bills
2017-12-23 False False Hey there Hillary, it takes a Bill-age
2017-12-30 True False I'm the dignified news anchor with an irresistible bass line. That's right, I'm dancea-Bill
2018-01-06 True False I'm the man with an aim that can be used for any number of comic puns. I'm adapta-Bill
2018-01-13 False False I'm not a stable genius. I'm a genius that's sta-Bill
2018-01-20 False False Hey, Ebbing, Missouri, you don't need three billboards. You just need one Bill Kurtis
2018-01-27 False False Hey, that guacamole is not ready yet. You need some Bill-antro
2018-02-03 False False Hey man, relax! Take a chill-Bill
2018-02-10 False False Hello Nancy Pelosi, if you need a break, let me Bill-ibuster
2018-02-17 False False Say, 'Ahhh'. You're about to get a tonsil-Bill-ectomy
2018-02-24 True False I'm the man whose inner life will always be hidden, no matter how sincere I am. I'm inscruti-Bill
2018-03-03 False False Hey Anthony Kiedes, put a sock on this! I'm a Red Hot Billy Pepper
2018-03-10 False False Wakanda forever! I'm Bill-monger
2018-03-17 False False During Lent, take a bite out of me. I'll be your Bill-et-O-Fish
2018-03-24 False False I don't care about your fancy arts and culture, I'm a Bill-istine
2018-03-31 True False I'm legendary anchorman
2018-04-07 False False March Madness is over and the winner is Bill-anova
2018-04-14 False False I don't dance now, I make money moves. I'm Cardi-Bill
2018-04-28 False False I'm 99.9% effective. I'm the birth-control Bill
2018-05-05 False False I've got thick skin. I'm an arma-Bill-o
2018-05-12 False False Poopity-scoop, scoopity-doop, I'm Bill-ity-boop
2018-05-19 False False Got an infection? Try some Peni-Bill-in
2018-05-26 False False I know you're tired LeBron. Pass the ball to me, I'm LeBill
2018-06-02 True False I'm the guy who rebeled from the two party system and founded my own. I'm the Bill Moose
2018-06-09 False False Come on in, the water's hot. I'm bub-Bill bath
2018-06-16 False False Hey Pixar, put me in your next movie. I'm Incredi-Bill
2018-06-23 False False Getting rid of some old clothes? Take 'em to Good-Bill
2018-06-30 False False I'm just a legendary anchorman looking for his anchor baby
2018-07-07 True False Forget your constitutional protections and just listen to me, I'm the Bill that's right
2018-07-14 False False Hey there, ovaries. How do you like your eggs? I'm your Bill-opian tubes
2018-07-21 False False End the witch hunt. There's no Bill-usion
2018-07-28 False False Cut the cord, I'm your Bill-y button
2018-08-04 False False Climb up on me and work up a sweat. I'll be your tread-Bill
2018-08-11 False False Alright everybody, you're in Bill-ennium Park now
2018-08-18 True False I'm the shirt that doesn't cling too tight. I'm Bill-owy
2018-08-25 True True I'm legendary anchorman
2018-09-01 False False Step aside Schlitz, I'm the Bill that made Milwaukee famous
2018-09-08 False False You're gonna look great; cuz, you're about to get a Bill-icone implant
2018-09-15 False False Hey, Guy Raz, how do you Bill this?
2018-09-22 False False Get over here and shave me. I'm your stub-Bill
2018-09-29 False False Hey there Angelenos, take a right on Sunset Bill-evard
2018-10-06 False False I like Bill. I still like Bill. Sometimes I had too much Bill
2018-10-13 True False I'm a pile of thinly sliced beef covered in Velveeta. That's right. I'm your Billy Cheesesteak
2018-10-20 False False Put your candy in my bucket. It's Bill-oween!
2018-10-27 False False Open up your anniversary card everybody. There's a crisp dollar Bill in there for you
2018-11-03 False False Take off those old clothes. Give them to Good-Bill
2018-11-10 False False Count me, I'm your provisional Bill-ot
2018-11-17 False False Hey there, Donald Duck. Get a load of this Bill
2018-11-24 True False Had enough turkey yet? Gobble gob-Bill
2018-12-01 False False The verdict is in Michael Cohen. You're Bill-ty
2018-12-08 False False Forget Bill de Blasio, I'm Bill de Badassio
2018-12-15 False False Hey there vegetarians, put me on your pun. I'm a porta-Bill-o
2018-12-22 False False Deck the halls with Bills of holly. Fa la la la la, la la la Bill
2018-12-29 True False This New Year's Eve, count to ten and watch the Bill drop
2019-01-05 True False Hey Cast Away Tom Hanks, I'll be your friend. I'm Bill-son!
2019-01-19 False False Sorry Mitch McConnell, nobody blocks this Bill
2019-01-26 False False Bill the wall! Bill the wall! I'm Bill the Kurtis
2019-02-02 False False I'm legendarily cold anchorman, Brrrgh Kurtis
2019-02-09 False False Hey there Georgia, I'll take a bite of your juicy peach
2019-02-16 False False Roses are red, pickles are dill. My last name's Kurtis. My middle name's Danger
2019-02-23 True False I don't know if Beale Street could talk; but, Bill Street can
2019-03-02 False False Let me toss your salad. I'm, I'm Bill-samic vinaigrette
2019-03-09 False False Lay me down for a triple word score. I'm Scra-Bill
2019-03-16 False False Stay classy, San Diego
2019-03-30 False False Complete and total excitation. It's the Biller Report
2019-04-06 False False Hey there EDM fans, get ready for some Billex
2019-04-13 False False Remember the Bill-amo
2019-04-20 True False Hey there, DeNiro. Get a load of me, Raging Bill
2019-04-27 False False Hey Thanos, forget the Infinity Stones, listen to my Infinity Tones
2019-05-04 False False Hey Arthur Miller, step into this Cruci-Bill
2019-05-11 False False Forget about Bill Barr, come to the bar with me
2019-05-18 False False Is it hot in here? I blame glo-Bill warming
2019-05-25 False False I'm your evil twin
2019-06-01 True False Hey, everybody. Gather in front of me and prepare to salute; because, it's the Triumph of the Bill
2019-06-08 False False Hey, Steph Curry. Try spinning ol' basket-Bill on your finger
2019-06-15 False False Sleep tight, baby. You're about to get a dose of Bill-atonin
2019-06-22 False False Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Ask for whom the Bill tolls
2019-06-29 False False It's always sunny in Bill-adelphia
2019-07-06 True False Check out these fireworks. Ooh. Ah. Bill
2019-07-13 False False Take a look at my horns, Pamplona. It's the running of the Bills
2019-07-20 False False Forget about LeBron, you've got LeBill
2019-07-27 False False It's alright Zack Morris. You're saved by the Bill
2019-08-03 False False You don't need a landline, you got a mo-Bill
2019-08-10 False False You wait here, I'm gonna slip into something more comforta-Bill
2019-08-17 True False Take me to the beach and toss me around. I'm your fris-Bill
2019-08-24 True False Say what you want Bernie Sanders, you'll never take down this Bill-ionaire
2019-08-31 False False Hey there Senators, come sit on Capitol Bill
2019-09-07 False False Take a gulp of me and I'll give you wings. I'm Red Bill
2019-09-14 False False Hey there, Jersey. Bada-boom, bada-Bill
2019-09-21 False False Pack your bags, you're going on a Billy holiday
2019-09-28 False False That's me in your ear. You're getting a wet Billy
2019-10-05 False False When you want your flower pollinated, I'll be your bum-Bill bee
2019-10-26 False False Utah. Me Bill
2019-11-02 False False It's cold out there. Put this Bill-aclava on your face
2019-11-09 False False Pssst! Wanna know a secret? I'm a whistle-Bill-er
2019-11-16 False False Move over, Virginia. Bill is for lovers
Show Date Best Of Repeat Introduction

Chioke I'Anson

Show Date Best Of Repeat Introduction
2019-01-12 False False I'm one of the legendary voices of the NPR credits
2019-03-23 False False I am one of the voices of NPR's credits
2019-10-12 False False One of the voices of the NPR credits and the only voice of your NPR dreams
2019-10-19 True False I'm the man who makes the NPR Wine Club sound sexy
Show Date Best Of Repeat Introduction